Generally the Master did not allow Akshay to touch his feet, a refusal that hurt him greatly. Instead, Sri Ramakrishna would say: “Let your mind be purified. Then you may do so.” Nonetheless, after three visits Akshay was convinced that if anyone could give him the vision of Krishna, it was Sri Ramakrishna. Later he realized that Krishna and Ramakrishna were one and the same. He wrote in his Sri Sri Ramakrishna Mahima:
I neither talked with Sri Ramakrishna nor asked any questions, but this I knew: that whosoever received the touch of the Master on his chest would lose outer consciousness and in that state would see Krishna. Expecting this, I continued to visit him. Not only that, whenever I would see him I would feel myself to be a different person. I used to think how it would be when the Master, out of mercy, touched my chest. Many days passed, but he did not fulfill my desire. I used to go to him with great hope and return home with tearful eyes and disappointment.
I talked to him only twice in my whole life. One day, seeing him alone, I said: “Master, I am blind [i.e., ignorant].” To this the Master replied: “God exists.” [What Sri Ramakrishna meant was: “You might be blind, but God has eyes to see you.”] …..
It is difficult for an ordinary person to understand the actions and behaviour of an avatar. He may eradicate the bad karma of a devotee through harshness, or he may crush the ego through indifference. If a devotee can endure such ordeals, he achieves something. Akshay tried to wipe away the impurities of his heart through tears and prayers, and gradually he felt the Master’s silent benediction. Later he wrote in his book: “What Sri Ramakrishna demonstrated and explained to me led me to the firm conviction that he is God Himself. He is an avatar, Lord of the universe, the Almighty. He is that Rama, that Krishna, that Kali, indeed, that Satchidananda. He is beyond mind and intellect, but again, He is known only through the pure mind and intellect.”
On 1 January 1886, Sri Ramakrishna became the Kalpataru (the wish-fulfilling tree) and blessed many devotees, saying, “Be illumined.” The occasion was the Master’s afternoon walk in the Cossipore garden. As the Master entered the garden, the devotees followed him. Akshay, who was seated with a few others on the low bough of a tree, saw him. He rushed to where Sri Ramakrishna was standing and found the Master, absorbed in samadhi, in the middle of his devotees. Akshay picked two champaka (Michelia Champaka) flowers and offered them at the Master’s feet.
After a while the Master came down to a semiecstatic state and touched the devotees one by one. This act created great emotional fervour and excitement among the devotees. Some received the vision of their Chosen Deity; some experienced the awakening of kundalini; some felt unspeakable bliss; and others, out of ecstasy, began to laugh, cry, and shout. Akshay watched the entire scene from a distance. Then suddenly the Master’s eyes fell on Akshay, and he called him: “Hello!” Akshay ran to the Master, who touched his chest with his hand and whispered a mantra in his ear. At once Akshay experienced the effect of the Master’s blessing. He could not contain the on rush of bliss, and unable to withstand such an upsurge of emotion, he fell to the ground. His limbs twisted as if he were deformed, and he burst into tears. (Source: They Lived with God)