Forgiveness is not merely a moral suggestion but a practical necessity for spiritual progress and mental well-being. According to the sources, the first and most vital step is making up your mind that forgiveness is a valuable blessing for your life. Without this conscious realization, one remains susceptible to the “seductive power” of revengefulness, which is a trait of the weak rather than the strong.
The Danger of Holding onto Anger
Practicing forgiveness begins with understanding the nature of anger. Anger is described as a fire that must be lit in one’s own heart before it can burn anyone else. While there is often an immediate “release” in expressing anger, the person holding the resentment is the one who ultimately suffers. For a spiritual seeker, hitting back or uttering harsh words might provide momentary satisfaction, but it will “wrankle in memory” and cause long-term pain, whereas holding back produces a lasting peace of mind.
Practical Strategies for Letting Go
The sources suggest several practical methods to transition from a state of resentment to one of forgiveness:
- The Devotional Offering: One powerful way to forgive is to offer your resentment and the difficulty you have in forgiving to the Lord. By daily placing your memories, emotions, and perceived wrongs at the feet of the Divine, you can “wash away” the past and feel a sense of devotional freedom.
- Expanding the Self through Selflessness: An unforgiving nature often stems from a “strong identity” to the ego—the “I, me, and mine”. To let go, one must become a “bigger” person. Consider the analogy of a child pushing a grandparent; the grandparent does not take offense because they are elevated above the act and view it with love. The more we care for others, the more their offenses appear as “little offenses” that can be easily brushed off.
- Cultivating Stillness through Meditation: An unsettled, “flickering” mind is quick to hit back, whereas a quiet mind has the strength to hold back. Establishing a personal meditation practice, such as Mantra Diksha (the use of a sacred mantra), helps steal the mind and provides the internal stability required to resist the urge to retaliate.
- Relinquishing the Role of Judge: It is important to realize that it is not your job to punish others, especially if you are a seeker of spirituality. That responsibility belongs to the Lord, who will see it done in the right time.
The Perspective of Unity
At the highest level of practice, forgiveness is rooted in the realization of unlimited consciousness. Drawing from the teachings of Swami Vivekananda, the sources highlight that there is ultimately no distinction between the “offended” and the “offender”. When one realizes that the blamer and the blamed are but one, the grounds for resentment disappear.
Analogy for Understanding:
Think of resentment like holding a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned first. Forgiveness is simply the act of opening your hand and letting the coal drop, not for the sake of the other person, but so your own hand can finally begin to heal.