Life means struggle. Only two types of people do not struggle: the dead, and the illumined who have transcended the pairs of opposites. One day someone complained about dryness in spiritual life. “That very complaining,” Ramakrishnananda answered, “shows that their devotion is strong, even though they may not seem to express it so well as at other times. The very fact that they are restless proves that this dryness of heart is an unnatural condition for them, just as the fish feels dryness and jumps about when it is out of water, water being its natural element. Their devotion is not lessened in any way. So long as the hunger for devotion to God is there, a man is steady in devotion.” (Source: God Lived with Them)
Everyone without exception, sometime or other, passes through a “dark night” in spiritual life. In this period, the spiritual aspirant encounters subtle, unseen enemies, such as lust, anger, greed, delusion, pride, and jealousy. It is outright warfare. After joining the monastery, Turiyananda passed through such a dry spell. He described it later on: “When I was young and living in the Baranagore Math, once I had a very despondent mood. I could not meditate. I was then pacing back and forth on the roof. Then suddenly there was a rift in the cloud, and out came the full moon in all its majesty. All darkness was dispelled, and the whole landscape was flooded with light. As soon as I saw that I thought: See, the moon was there all the time but I could not see her. So the Atman is also ever present, shining in its own glory, but I did not see it. The cloud of ignorance stood between the Atman and my intellect overshadowing my mind. And at once I felt strong again, my doubts all gone.” (Source: God Lived with Them)
Brahmananda’s spiritual instructions are simple, direct, and practical. He taught mostly from his own experience rather than by quoting from the scriptures. Swami Vishuddhananda recalled: “On one occasion, in the house of Balaram Basu, Maharaj said: ‘You practise meditation and japam; you progress a little, then comes a period of dryness. It seems that the doors are entirely closed. At that time it is necessary that you stick to your spiritual practices with infinite patience; by so doing you will find one day that all of a sudden the doors are opened. What a great joy it is then! In spiritual life many such thresholds have to be crossed.’ (Source: God Lived with Them)
Girish Chandra Ghosh, a devotee of Sri Ramakrishna, told the following story about Brahmananda’s extraordinary spiritual power: Compared to myself, Rakhal is only a young boy. I know that the Master regarded him as his spiritual son, but that is not the only reason I respect him. Once I was suffering from asthma and various kinds of ailments. As a result, my body became very weak and I lost faith in Sri Ramakrishna. With a view to getting rid of that dry spell, I engaged pandits to read the Gita and the Chandi to me. But still I had no peace of mind. Some brother disciples came to see me, and I told them about the unhappy state of my mind, but they only kept silent. Then one day Rakhal came and asked me, “How are you?” I replied: “Brother, I am in hell. Can you tell me the way out?” Rakhal listened to me and then burst into laughter. “Why worry about it?” said he. “As the waves of the ocean rise high, then go down again, and again rise, so does the mind. Don’t be upset. Your present mood is due to the fact that it will lead you to a higher realm of spirituality. The wave of the mind is gathering strength.” As soon as Rakhal left my house, my doubt and dryness disappeared and I got back my faith and devotion. (Source: God Lived with Them)
While chanting God’s name, sometimes tears flow and at other times the eyes remain dry. While meditating on God, some days I feel a great deal of inner awakening, and some days I feel nothing.
— Sri Ramakrishna (Source: Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna)
In February 1890 Brahmananda and Subodhananda arrived at Vrindaban, the place where Krishna sported as a child. Here they lived on alms and passed their time in intense spiritual practices. On 29 March 1890 Brahmananda wrote a letter to Balaram Basu, describing his spiritual struggle:
Who can understand the divine play of God? Man experiences happiness and misery according to his own karma. This is true of every man — whether he is learned or ignorant, good or wicked. Rare indeed is a person in this world who enjoys uninterrupted peace and bliss! Blessed is he who is free from desires, for he lives in the kingdom of peace. There is more misery than happiness in this world, and most people live in misery. If God is all-merciful then why do his children suffer so much? Only God knows the answer to this mystery, and not ordinary human beings.
Man suffers because of his ignorance, which manifests as “I” and “mine.” The really happy and fortunate man is he who has given up his ego and has surrendered his life, mind, and intellect to God, and has nothing to call his own.
The nature of the mind is to dwell on worldly objects, because it is created out of the three gunas (sattva, rajas, and tamas) which also constitute the outer world. It is only through divine grace that a man can withdraw his mind completely from the external objects and put it on God… .
Presently my mental condition is not good at all… . I am praying to God that I may remain absorbed in the thought of the Master. That is the one desire of my heart.
A great receptacle like Brahmananda was not satisfied with a few visions or momentary experiences. He was feeling the agony of separation from the Master. He plunged into deep meditation and remained most of the time in an indrawn mood. Subodhananda would beg food for him; sometimes Brahmananda would eat it and sometimes not. Although the two brother disciples lived together, they hardly spoke to one another. (Source: God Lived with Them)
Many aspirants do not know that spiritual discontent is often a good sign. It indicates that the soul is longing for more and more spiritual experiences. Once Yogin-ma was passing through a dry period and decided to tell Sri Ramakrishna about it. She left for Dakshineswar on foot very early in the morning, but as soon as she saw the Master she forgot everything. After a little while she went to the garden, picked some flowers, and carried them in the corner of her cloth. Sri Ramakrishna was at that time standing on the northern veranda of his room and saw Yogin-ma coming with something. He asked her, “What are you carrying?” Yogin-ma showed him the flowers and then bowed down and offered them at his feet. Immediately the Master went into an ecstatic mood and blessed her, touching his foot to her head. (Source: They Lived with God)