Another day, Ramchandra Datta wanted to visit the Master, but Niranjan stopped him at the gate. Ram was hurt by this because he was one of the Master’s prominent lay devotees. He then said to Latu, “Please offer these sweets and flowers to the Master and bring a little prasad for me.” Latu was very touched and said to Niranjan, “Brother, Ram Babu is our very own; why are you putting such restrictions on him?” Still Niranjan was inexorable. Then Latu said rather bluntly, “At Shyampukur you allowed the actress Binodini to visit the Master and now you are stopping Ram Babu, who is such a great devotee.” This pricked Niranjan’s conscience, so he let Ram go to see Ramakrishna. Later when Latu went upstairs, the omniscient Master said to him: “Look, never see faults in others; rather, see their good qualities.” Latu was embarrassed. He came down and apologized to Niranjan, saying: “Brother, please don’t mind my caustic remark. I am an illiterate person.” (Source: God Lived with Them)
—–
In community life, there are always occasions when differences of opinion lead to fault-finding. Turiyananda noticed this in the ashrama community, and remarked one day: “We are like dogs in glass houses, barking at our own reflections. We see another’s sushupti [deep sleep], not our own. We should be strict with our faults and lenient with the faults of others.”
—-
One day a monk arranged a feast at his cottage and invited other mendicants. Swami Gangananda went there and later told Turiyananda about the greediness of an old monk. Turiyananda scolded Gangananda: “Why are you criticizing that old monk? Your boat is in the middle of the turbulent river. Don’t see fault in others, rather see your own defects. He who sees fault in others is guilty.”
From the Life of Swami Ramakrishnananda
A person who sees faults in others does not realize that those faults are within. What is inside comes outside; fault-finding is very injurious to spiritual life. Shashi recalled:
The Master never condemned any man. He was ready to excuse everything. He used to tell us that the difference between man and God was this: If a man failed to serve God ninety-nine times, but the hundredth time served Him with even a little love, God forgot the ninety-nine times he had failed and would say, “Oh! My devotee served Me so well today.” But if a man served another man well ninety-nine times and the hundredth time failed in his service, the man would forget the ninety-nine good services and say, “That rascal failed to serve me one day.” If there was the least spark of good in anyone, Sri Ramakrishna saw only that and overlooked all the rest. (Source: God Lived with Them)
Swami Premananda Says —
“Never see faults in others. Rather see your own faults,” said the Master. Once, in front of the Master, some visitors were criticizing the character of Satish Giri, the abbot of the Tarakeshwar Monastery. Immediately Sri Ramakrishna diverted their attention to the abbot’s good qualities. The Master did not like his devotees to gossip. (Source: God Lived with Them)
—–
In Belur Math Premananda had to act as a loving mother as well as a chastising father. He scolded the monks to correct their shortcomings, but his tender heart cried afterwards. Sometimes while walking alone in the courtyard of the monastery, he would admonish himself: “O Baburam, be careful! O Baburam, be careful!” Some of his letters indicate his inner feelings:
I do not harbour the idea that I am good. I have come to learn. There is no end to learning. May the Master give us right understanding — this is my prayer. By observing the faults of others we gradually become infected by them. We have not come to look at their faults and to correct them. It is only to learn that we are here. Lord, Thou art everything. Whom should I scold? Everything is He; there is only a difference in the quantity of dust that covers the gold.
Once Shivananda reminded the monks:
Look here, the Master used to say that one should see the ocean in a drop of water. It was not just a superficial opinion of his; it was a conviction — the outcome of his actual experience. Otherwise, we could not have stayed with him. Instead of seeing our faults, he graciously attracted us to his side and let us live with him as we were. Who is there that is absolutely stainless? All those who have come here have one aim, and that is to be free from imperfection. Nobody came here perfect. These minor weaknesses will eventually disappear through his grace. If one can be resigned at his feet, he will set everything right. (Source: God Lived with Them)
—–
Once a senior monk asked Shivananda to take disciplinary action against a monk and expel him from the Order. Shivananda listened to the accusations attentively and then asked the senior monk, “Does he not have one or two good qualities?” When the senior monk mentioned a couple of the monk’s good qualities, Shivananda’s face radiated with joy and he exclaimed, “That is enough!” That monk stayed in the Order.
Another time Shivananda told the monks: “You cannot reform people by simply talking and reprimanding. If you have the spiritual power, redirect and change the inner tendencies of people. Talk to the Lord and pray to Him so that He may do the work of reforming. If He is gracious, then in a trice bad tendencies will undergo wholesale transformation.” (Source: God Lived with Them)
Sri Ramakrishna’s patience in putting up with Hazra was superhuman. Even though the Master was actually Hazra’s host in Dakshineswar, Hazra criticized him in front of others. But then Hazra’s sharp tongue spared nobody. He was also fastidious, with a mania for cleanliness and piety. Still, Sri Ramakrishna was his well-wisher and one day said to him: “Don’t eat too much, and give up this craze for outer cleanliness. People with a craze do not attain Knowledge. Follow conventions only as much as necessary. Don’t go to excess. What you are doing is right in principle but the application is not quite correct. Don’t find fault with anyone, not even with an insect. As you pray to God for devotion, so also pray that you may not find fault with anyone. It is Narayana Himself who has assumed all these forms. One can worship even a wicked person.” (Source: They Lived with God)
Purna had a wealthy friend named Shyam Basu,who was related to Balaram Basu. Shyam used to visit Purna quite often and would call him “Guruji.” Although Shyam was a sincere gentleman, his moral character was not good. One day a person mentioned Shyam Basu’s shortcomings to Purna. At this Purna replied: “It is true Shyam Basu has some defects like other ordinary people, but whatever he does, he does privately without dragging others into it. Yet he possesses a noble quality that is very rare, and that is his veracity. He keeps his word, remaining ever steadfast like the Himalayas. And if he sees anyone in difficulty, he comes forward to help without passing any judgment.” By the grace of the Master, Purna was free from the disease of faultfinding. Later, through Purna’s influence, Shyam Basu’s life was changed, and he became very devoted to Sri Ramakrishna and Swami Vivekananda. (Source: They Lived with God)
“One day Jatindra (A titled aristocrat of Calcutta.) came to the garden of Jadu Mallick. I was there too. I asked him: ‘What is the duty of man? Isn’t it our duty to think of God?’ Jatindra replied: ‘We are worldly people. How is it possible for us to achieve liberation? Even King Yudhisthira had to have a vision of hell.’ This made me very angry. I said to him: ‘What sort of man are you? Of all the incidents of Yudhisthira’s life, you remember only his seeing hell. You don’t remember his truthfulness, his forbearance, his patience, his discrimination, his dispassion, his devotion to God.’ I was about to say many more things, when Hriday stopped my mouth. After a little while Jatindra left the place, saying he had some other business to attend to. (Source: Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna)