He wrote in his memoirs: “…. Desire for inquiry came. Looking into the current of events, sometimes faith, sometimes doubt, emerged. Everybody with whom I discussed my problem said unanimously that without instruction from a guru doubt would not go and nothing could be achieved in spiritual life. But my intellect refused to accept a human being as a guru; for one has to salute the guru with the words, ‘Guru is Brahma, Guru is Vishnu, Guru is the Lord Maheshwara [Shiva], the God of gods, etc.’ How could I say this to a man like me? This was hypocrisy. But the tyranny of doubt was intolerable…..”
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A great change was coming over Girish. He felt as if Sri Ramakrishna were his own close relative. The Master’s loving care and concern made Girish understand that he would not condemn him for his shortcomings. Girish wrote: “I went to Dakshineswar. I found Sri Ramakrishna seated on the southern porch of his room. He was talking with a young devotee named Bhavanath. I prostrated myself before Sri Ramakrishna and mentally recited the verse, ‘Guru is Brahma, Guru is Vishnu, Guru is the Lord Maheshwara, the God of gods.’ He said: ‘I was just talking about you. And if you don’t believe me, ask Bhavanath.’
“After a while, he started to give me some spiritual advice. I stopped him, saying: ‘I won’t listen to any advice. I have written cartloads of it myself. It doesn’t help. Do something that will transform my life.’ Hearing these words, Sri Ramakrishna was highly pleased. Ramlal, his nephew, was present. Sri Ramakrishna asked him to recite a particular hymn, which ran thus: ‘Go into solitude and shut yourself in a cave. Peace is not there. Peace is where faith is, for faith is the root of all.’ I saw a smile playing on the lips of Sri Ramakrishna, and I felt at that moment that I was freed from all impurities. And at that moment, my arrogant head bowed low at his feet. In him I found my sanctuary and all my fear was gone. I prostrated myself before him and was about to return home. He followed me as far as the northern porch. There I asked him, ‘Now that I have received your grace, am I to continue the same kind of work that I have been doing?’ Sri Ramakrishna replied, ‘Yes, why not?’ From his words I understood that my connection with the theatre would not hurt my spiritual life.
“My heart was filled with joy. I felt as if I were born anew. I was a totally changed man. There was no more doubt or conflict in my mind. ‘God is real. God is my sanctuary; I have found my refuge in this God-man. Now I can easily realize God.’ Thoughts like these cast their spell on me night and day. In waking or in dreaming, the same mood persisted: ‘Fearless am I! I have found my very own. The world can no longer bind me, for even the greatest fear, the fear of death, is gone.’” (Source: They Lived with God)