- A householder must take care of his family, so he has to save. Birds and sadhus don’t lay things away – but a bird does accumulate when it has a chick; it collects food in its beak for its chick.
- It is very difficult to practice spiritual disciplines while living in the family. There are so many hindrances.
- There’s no harm in leading a family life. But you have to live in the family like a maidservant.
- Why should you have to renounce? If you have to fight, it is better to fight from within a fort. You have to fight against your senses and against hunger and thirst. It is good that all these are fought while living in the household.
- Why do you have to renounce the home? It is convenient there. You don’t have to worry about food, and there is no harm in living with your wife. In a family, all your bodily needs are easily met. If you fall ill, you have people to nurse you.
- Janaka, Vyasa, and Vasishtha lived in the family after attaining spiritual knowledge. They wielded both swords – the one of knowledge and the other of action.
- One look after one’s children till they reach adulthood. When a bird grows up and can look after itself, its mother forces it out of the nest with its beak. She doesn’t let it near.
- The signs of a householder’s having attained knowledge of God are tears flow from his eyes, and the hair on his body stands on end at the name of God. No sooner does he hear the sweet name of God than the hair on his body stands on end and a stream of tears flows from the eyes.
- You householders have to have ‘this’ as well as ‘that’ – to live in the world and also to stick to the spiritual path.
- You have to fight against lust, anger, and so on in worldly life; you have to fight against various desires. You have to fight against attachment. If the fight is from inside the fort, it is convenient. It is better to fight from home.
- In the Kaliyuga life depends on food. It is better to be at one place than to roam around for food from one place to another. Living at home is fighting from inside the fort.
- If you ask whether there is a difference between the knowledge of a householder and a sannyasin, the answer is that both are the same. There is some risk for a householder living in the midst of ‘lust and greed.’ Living in a sooty room, you cannot escape a little stain, however clever you may be.
- Once you have churned the butter from the milk, if you keep it in a new earthen pot, it runs no risk of spoiling. But if you keep it in a pot of buttermilk, it is risky.
- When either a householder or a sannyasin gains spiritual knowledge, he becomes stainless, just like a jasmine flower. But after gaining spiritual knowledge, if he lives in the frying pan of the world, there may be a little red stain on his body.
- As far as possible, you should live unattached among women. From time to time you should go into solitude and meditate on God. No one else should be there. When you have gained faith and love for Him, you will be able to live unattached to a large extent. After having one or two children, a husband and wife should live together as brother and sister. And they should pray to God that the mind not go to sense enjoyment – and that there will be no more children.
- He who lives a family life after God-realization need have no fear. If one practices spiritual disciplines at times in a solitary place and thus develops pure love for God, there is no danger in family life for him. Chaitanya Deva also had family men as his devotees. But they lived as householders only in name – for they lived without attachment.
- Live like a mud fish. It lives in the mud, but the mud does not stain its body. Or live like a woman of easy virtue. She attends to all her household chores, but her mind remains tied to her lover. Fixing your mind on the Lord, attend to all your worldly work.
- Do you know what happens when you live as a householder? A lot of your mental powers are unnecessarily expended. This wastage of mental powers can be made up only by embracing sannyasa.
- The householder must hiss [threaten], but never pour venom. Reason? One must not harm anybody. However, you have to make a show of anger to save yourself from the enemy or he will hurt you.
- A householder must live like a mudfish. He must develop love for the Lord by meditating on Him in a solitary place away from home. He can then live with his family without attachment to it. He lives in the mud but does not allow it to soil his body. Such a person leads a life of nonattachment in the world.
- Is it not possible to meditate on the Lord while living with the wicked? Remember the rishis who used to meditate on the Lord in forests with tigers, bears and other wild animals around them. Unfriendly people have the nature of tigers and bears – they chase offensively and can harm you.
- Live in the household like a maidservant in a rich man’s house. She attends to all her chores, she brings up the master’s children and calls his son her Hari. But she knows quite well that it is not her house, nor is the boy her son. She attends to all her duties, but inwardly her mind dwells on her native village. Similarly, perform all your household duties, but keep your mind fixed on the Lord. And know that the home, the wife, the son, none are yours. They are all His. You are merely His servant.
- You people should renounce the world mentally. Live in your household with a spirit of nonattachment.
- People who renounce the world painfully belong to an inferior class. Do you know what a householder jnani is like? It is as if he is in a glass house from where he can see inside as well as outside.
- How long does one have duties toward one’s family? Make sure that they are not in want of food and clothing. But there is no need to take your children’s burden when they can stand on their own feet. When a young bird learns to find grain for itself, it is pecked away by its mother when it approaches her for food.
- One can lead a family life after attaining knowledge. But one must first attain it. If you keep the milk of your mind in the water of the world, it will get mixed with water. You must first turn the milk of your mind into curd by placing it in a solitary nook and churn it to take out the butter. Then you can put it in the water of the world.
- Why renounce the world altogether? It is enough if one gets rid of attachment. But you need to practice spiritual disciplines. You have to fight with your senses. Besides, it is more convenient to fight a battle from within the fort. One receives a lot of help from the fort.
- The world is a place for enjoyment. One should enjoy it, and then quickly give up one article of enjoyment after the other. Once I had a desire to wear a golden chain around my waist. I even got one and put it on – but I took it off immediately. I ate some onion and began to discriminate in this way – my mind, this is what is called onion. I moved it around in my mouth for awhile, first on one side and then on the other. I spat it out after making it touch the mouth on all sides.
- Spiritual life in the household is possible. But one should first attain the knowledge of God before entering family life – one should first realize God before living as a householder. Then ‘even though one may swim in the black waters of lamp-black, the body will not be stained.’ One can then live like a mudfish. The household life which one leads after God-realization is a world of spirituality. There is no ‘lust and greed’ in it – only devotion, devotee and God.
- These people talk of practicing religion while leading a worldly life. It is like a person who has shut himself in a room – with all the doors and windows closed – with just a small hole for a little light to come in from the roof. Can one see the sun with a roof overhead? What will he do with only a little light? ‘Lust and greed’ constitute the roof. Can one see the sun unless the roof is removed? Worldly people have, as it were, shut themselves inside a room.
- One should lead a householder’s life only after attaining God. It is like keeping butter in water after it has been churned. Janaka led the life of a householder only after attaining the knowledge of Brahman.
- Janaka wielded two swords: one of spiritual knowledge and the other of action. A sannyasin renounces work. Thus he wields only one sword, that of knowledge. Householders who are men of knowledge, like Janaka, can eat both the fruit of a tree and fruit on the ground. They can serve holy men and entertain guests as well.
- When you get old, it’s good to leave the household and devote yourself to contemplating God.
- You have to face happiness and sorrow in worldly life. It is natural to feel restless once in a while. When you live in a room full of soot, you can’t avoid its stain.
- There are always burning problems in family life: your wife may be stubborn, you may be earning only twenty rupees a month, you have no money to celebrate your son’s rice-eating ceremony, you may have no means to send your boys to school, your home may be dilapidated, the roof may be leaking and you can’t afford to get it repaired.
- Why do you need to give up family life? What troubles sadhus have to face! A wife said to her husband, ‘Why do you want to renounce the family? You would have to beg alms from eight different houses. Instead, you get food from just one house. Isn’t that better?’
- It’s nice if you can fight from a fort. There are great disadvantages to standing in the open field and fighting from there. And dangers! Bullets may hit you.
- For spiritual knowledge you must retire to a solitary place for few days. Then you can return to worldly life. Janaka lived a worldly life after attaining knowledge. You can live anywhere after attaining knowledge. Then nothing matters.
- The goswamis are householders. So I said to them, ‘You have the duties of worship and service to the deity. How can you renounce the world? You can’t brush family life aside by calling it maya.’
- Chaitanya Deva listed the duties of householders as: compassion for living beings, service to Vaishnavas, and chanting God’s holy name.
- If a person is married but has love for God, he won’t get attached to the world.
- For those who live a worldly life and think they are the body, the attitude of So ’ham – I am That – is not right. The Vedanta or the Yogavasishtha is not for householders. They can indeed be harmful.
- The householder should live in the attitude of the master and the servant: ‘O God! You are the Lord, the Master; I am Your slave, Your servant.’ It’s not good for those who consider themselves the body to cherish the attitude ‘I am He.’
- The mind which should have been given to the Lord – seventy-five percent of it is taken away by women. And after a son is born, almost the whole of the mind goes to the family. Then what can you give to God?
- Go live a householder’s life after attaining spiritual awakening. If someone finds gold after hard labour, he can keep it underground or in a box or in water. It doesn’t affect the gold.
- Live a householder’s life without attachment. Break a jackfruit after rubbing your hands with oil. Then its juice won’t stick to your hand.
- If an immature mind is put in worldly life, it gets dirty. You should only live a householder’s life after you’ve attained spiritual knowledge. If you put milk in water, it gets ruined. But if you first churn butter out of the milk and then put it in water, you can keep the butter in water.
- You don’t have to renounce women altogether. It’s not wrong to sleep with your own wife. But after you’ve had children, you should live like brother and sister. If you are attached to ‘lust and greed,’ you develop pride of learning, pride of wealth and high position – all these things.
- You should live in the world like a maidservant. A maid attends to all the household work, but her mind is tied to her native village. She brings up the children of her master. She even addresses them as ‘My Hari’, ‘My Rama,’ but she knows they’re not hers. It’s necessary to practice spiritual disciplines in solitude. You will receive His grace. How many spiritual disciplines King Janaka practiced! It is only by practicing spiritual disciplines that a person can live unattached in the world.
- Family life is just as difficult. Very few people can lead it successfully, and then only by the grace of God and after having practiced spiritual disciplines. Most people can’t do it. Domestic life brings much bondage. It drowns a person and makes him suffer deathlike pangs. A very few, like Janaka, were able to live in the family after practicing for a long time. Practicing spiritual disciplines is truly necessary.
- A householder has duties and debts – to gods, to the father, to rishis, and also to the members of the family. A chaste wife must be provided for. And also children till they are grown and can stand on their own feet.
- Worldly people nurse some desire or another in spite of themselves – even though they are clearly very devoted. Mathur Babu was entangled in a law-suit. He said to me, ‘Father, make this offering of flowers to Mother Kali for me.’ I did it whole-heartedly.
- For worldly people, the love of God is only momentary, like water dropped on a burning pan. It dries up right away, pssht! The mind of worldly people is attached to sense pleasures. So it doesn’t have that love, that restlessness for God.
- Money itself becomes a reason for trouble. Brothers are good to each other, but when property is divided, problems arise between them. Dogs lick each other and have good feelings toward each other – but when a householder throws a little rice, they begin to fight.
- Be a friend to your brothers, live in harmony. Everything is nice to hear and see if there is harmony. Have you seen it in a play? If four or five people sing a different tune, the performance is destroyed.
- Live in the world, but balance the pitcher properly – in other words, keep your mind on God. I said to the soldiers at Chanak, ‘Do your duties in the world, but bear in mind that the pestle of death can fall on you.’
- Worship Shiva. There is a book on how to worship him called Nityakarma. Study it. Then you will be able to engage your minds for a long time preparing for the worship: picking flowers, making sandalpaste, cleaning the utensils of worship, arranging offerings. By doing all this, your mind will be directed. You will get rid of meanness, attachment, anger and so on.
- It’s very difficult to succeed while leading a worldly life. How can a person recover delirium if he’s put in a room where there is pickle, tamarind and a water pitcher? So from time to time it’s necessary to go into solitude to practice spiritual disciplines.
- When the trunk of a tree grows thick, you can tie even an elephant to it. But when it’s just a sapling, a goat or a cow can eat it up. That’s why Keshab said in a lecture, ‘Get established strongly in spiritual life – and then live in the world.’
- All problems that exist are just ‘for a loin-cloth.’ You are married and have children, so you have to have a job. A sadhu is worried about his loin-cloth and a householder about his wife. On top of that, you don’t get along well with everyone at home so you have to live separately. Chaitanya Deva said to Nitai, ‘Listen, brother Nityananda. A man caught in the world is never free.’
- The Naked One (Totapuri) used to say that a pot should be washed every day or it will get stained. It’s necessary to keep the company of holy men often. A sannyasin has to renounce ‘lust and greed’, but that’s not the path for you. You should occasionally go into solitude and call on God with a longing heart. You should renounce mentally.
- A householder has debts: debts to gods, to the father, to the rishis, to raise one or two children, and then debts to his wife – if she is chaste.
- A householder needs money for his wife and children. He should save it to feed them. Only birds and sannyasins don’t hoard. But when a bird has fledglings, it brings food for them in its beak – it also has to save. That’s why householders need money – they have to support their families.
- There is a lot of enjoyment in the householder life. But what is the enjoyment of ‘lust and greed’? Once you swallow sandesh, you don’t remember if it was sweet or sour.
- Be like a maid-servant who attends to all her work but at the same time keeps her mind in her own village. In other words, attend to all your duties while keeping your mind fixed on God. A worldly life sticks to you. A genuine devotee lives like a mudfish – in the mud, but the mud does not stick to his body.