God’s divine play in this world is such that we sometimes find suffering leading to happiness, and again, success leading to a downfall. M.’s mother died when he was young, and without her, squabbles gradually disrupted the harmony in the joint family. M. was a peace-loving soul, and he finally could no longer bear the pettiness and selfishness of his relatives. He decided to leave home. One night at 10:00 p.m. he left for his sister’s house at Baranagore, accompanied by his wife. He hired a horse carriage, but one of the carriage wheels broke near Shyambazar. He approached a friend’s house nearby for lodging for the night, but got a cold reception. Luckily, at midnight he found another carriage and was able to reach his sister’s house. M. said later that his mental anguish was so great then that he was thinking of taking his life.
The next afternoon he went for a walk with his nephew Sidhu, whose father, Ishan Kaviraj, was Sri Ramakrishna’s physician. Sidhu took him to the temple garden of Dakshineswar, and there M. met Sri Ramakrishna for the first time. M. put it beautifully: “I was thinking of killing myself, but instead I found my real Self. My family troubles led me to God.” It is interesting that Sidhu, who took M. to Sri Ramakrishna, never visited Sri Ramakrishna again. M. writes of that first visit:
They [M. and Sidhu] arrived at the main gate at dusk and went straight to Sri Ramakrishna’s room. And there they found him seated on a wooden couch, facing the east. With a smile on his face, he was talking of God. The room was full of people, all seated on the floor, drinking in his words in deep silence. M. stood there speechless and looked on. It was as if he were standing where all the holy places met and as if Shukadeva himself were speaking the word of God, or as if Sri Chaitanya were singing the name and glories of the Lord in Puri. M. looked around him with wonder and said to himself: ‘. . . What a beautiful place! What a charming man! How beautiful his words are!’ . . .
As he left the room with Sidhu, he heard the sweet music of the evening service arising in the temple from gong, bell, drum, and cymbal. The sounds travelled over the Ganges, floating away and losing themselves in the distance. A soft spring wind was blowing, laden with the fragrance of flowers; the moon had just appeared. It was as if nature and man together were preparing for the evening worship.
On this first day, M. spoke very little with Sri Ramakrishna. He later said to the devotees: “After meeting Sri Ramakrishna, I completely forgot my past. His towering personality and spiritual magnetism erased my sad memories.”
On his second visit, M. was scolded by Sri Ramakrishna and, as he described it, his ego was crushed. With a humility born of greatness, he immediately perceived the truth in Sri Ramakrishna’s words and accepted it. It seems that M.’s belief in intellectual knowledge was overpowered by Sri Ramakrishna’s spiritual wisdom once and for all. Generally, people prefer to hide their weaknesses, but M. was so sincere that he meticulously recorded all the scoldings he received from the Master, as well as his reactions to them. M.’s record runs: “Thus rebuked, M. sat speechless. His pride had received a blow. After a few minutes Sri Ramakrishna looked at him kindly and said affectionately: ‘You see, you have certain good signs. I know them by looking at a person’s forehead, his eyes, and so on.’” (Source: They Lived with God)